My Monday Morning Beef…

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Hey! We made it! Football is officially into the postseason on all sides. Things have gone pretty much as expected for me this year. It hasn’t been great for the teams that I support, but my outlook on this season was completely realistic. USC, Oakland, and UNLV all performed at or below the level I expected, as all three are in a full rebuild. I actually had the 49ers pegged as this good last year before Jimmy G went all Jimmy Neutron.

That being said, this was a hell of a culture-building season for the Niners, and I don’t believe they’ll be finished until they get Baltimore in the big dance again. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and I’ve seen Randy Moss at the Superdome wide open in the endzone waving his hands to Kaepernick in far too many nightmares since Superbowl XLII. It’s been a great season, but it’s been a season full of beef. Let’s talk about it.

I got beef with NFL referees.

Monday Morning BeefWhat is God’s name has happened to these people? I propose mandatory drug testing after bonehead calls. I went to the last Raider game in Oakland to try to investigate. Come to find out, Jamarcus has been spiking coffee creamer with purple stuff through an Oakland-Alameda Coliseum attendant named “Paul.” I don’t know his last name, but I’m the whistleblower. Hopefully, we won’t see “Paul” at Allegiant stadium next season.

If we get rid of him, I believe we get rid of holding and pass interference calls on every meaningful defensive third down. Get it? Jamarcus and “Paul” should not be allowed in the city of Las Vegas. If you see either of them, please call the Las Vegas Metro Police Department. These are wanted men who have committed high crimes against Raider Nation.

I got beef with the Patriots.

Photo Courtesy: SI.com

 

“Please, please tell me why you always hatin’? (Why you hatin’?)” I mean, damn! Y’all cheat too much. This shit has been going on for too long. See “Tuck Rule.” See the previous paragraph. Ok, let’s be real. Belichick and Brady are the goats. This is starting to be less of an argument. Those on the other side of the argument don’t have the cloud of shade hovering over their accomplishments. Spy-gate, Deflate-gate, Spy-gate II, etc. Can we stop? You guys have run the last twenty years of NFL football. Drop it now. Quit cheating. Retire to a life filled with Happy-Ending Massages. You guys deserve it. Good riddance, and good luck with Derrick Henry. Peace.

 

Can we talk about this targeting rule a little bit?

Helicopters and Michael Jordan can stop in mid-air and change direction. No one else. The head, under normal circumstances, sits atop the shoulders and therefore, will arrive before the shoulders when moving horizontally. Go ahead and read that again. Actually, go ahead and read the first paragraph again too. There’s a theme here. Tell me if you catch it.

I’ve watched so many guys get tossed out of games for reasons that go against the laws of physics. I understand the need to protect heads (aka Quarterbacks), but can we not use better judgment? I’ve been on the field. You mean to tell me you can judge intent a bit better from field level with all the replays and jumbotrons? The average football fan watching at home sure can. What’s wrong with that picture?

I got beef with the Playoff seeding.

Photo Courtesy: Washington Post

Now, this is normally a totally biased blog — not today. My team is firmly seated atop the NFC, and all roads to Miami go through The Bay. This does not affect me. But the Seahawks traveling to the Eagles is ridiculous. Winning your division should secure a playoff spot. Seeding should have everything to do with your record and nothing else. The NFC East is trash. The Eagles should not have a home playoff game. They haven’t earned it.

The best two teams in college football will play each other for the championship so I guess the CFB got it right again, right? Wrong. Oklahoma should not have been there. Until we do away with “voting,” this is gonna happen more often than not. Again, this thing needs to go to eight teams: Power Five conference champs plus the three best of the rest. Seeding should go by record and record alone. After record goes strength of schedule based on math over opinion, do this like this. Do it now, dammit.

Last but not least, C’mon Raider fans…

What the entire fuck??? Do you guys actually love the team or nah? Are you just so frustrated with losing that you can’t see the light at the end of this tunnel? Face the music. There was a promise with Reggie’s boys. It looked good for a minute. Carr, Mack, Cooper, that all-star O-line from 2014… LET IT GO. We missed our shot, ok?

 

Photo Courtesy: Terrance Quaites

Carr broke his leg, and there went a potential Super Bowl. Out goes Del Rio and in comes Gruden. That was a reset and rebuild. Can yall get over it? The team CANNOT compete with The Ravens, Niners, Chiefs, or Saints. This unit cannot win a championship this year. We know the only thing that’s gonna make us happy is a championship. If we aren’t playing for that then what are we playing for?

You guys are on Derek Carr’s head way more than his hairline. Can we wake up and smell the weed? Look in the mirror and speak this truth. Today, Derek Carr is better than any college quarterback, and it’s not even close. The Raiders have a lot of things to address. The Quarterback is not one of them.

Our QB makes the right decision the majority of the time. Run a good route and he will find you. Give him a couple of seconds of a clean pocket, and he will carve a team like a Butterball on Thanksgiving. He’s deadly accurate and correctly reads a defense more often than not. Derek Carr going into a 3rd offseason in Gruden’s offense, is like having real estate in SoCal. You just don’t get rid of it…

Unless youre moving to Las Vegas… 😩

Lord, please don’t let them waste a pick on a quarterback when we need linebackers, receivers, linemen, and virtually everything else. If they do, I’m gonna have beef.

 

 

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